As much as I’d like to pretend
I am not a confident man
I fall into the trap of believing
that I am more than my share
find myself in situations
of most comical despair
parties and karaoke nights
I am too shy to attend
that I go to anyway
because I am loath to say no
because ‘no’ means ‘weakness’
and weakness doesn’t befit a man of my bulk
so I sit there, and I wonder
if ever I will be confident enough
to live in a world that I’d like to live in
just then, somebody offers me rum
and I politely accept.
I hate rum.