Jukebox

Oh, what a strain this is

the voice in my head

why couldn’t God put a

jukebox instead?

that would’ve brightened up

my day, even my mood

and I would’ve danced forever

to a merry tune

did he do this because

he wanted us to be good?

or so he could torture us?

isn’t it a torture to worry

about what’s good and what’s evil

and ultimately acting on

impulse, so far removed

from God and all his gospels?

Maybe

God wants me to think

about who I am and

what is my purpose

ponder over the existential conunudrums.

then I think God is a pig farmer

feeding us shit and

fattening us up for slaughter

but pay no heed to what He thinks

us pigs are not easy to kill

us resilient shit eaters

still can fight

without a neck

and a hint of spine.

Nevertheless, sometimes

the music plays

and Sinatra sings

and in the lamplight

feeding on kerosene or coal

it doesn’t seem so

unbearable anymore

to be sleepless

in this tiny room.