what is it about getting lost in a forest
that attracts me so much?
to be stranded, with no compass,
no beaten trails, covered in dirt and fallen leaves,
leading to the town just beyond the horizon.
what is it about the quiet of this wooden cabin,
that calls me, promising deliverance?
to be left to fend for myself, foraging for survival,
no water, no food, no human footprint,
just the calm of the creeping frost,
and the deathly pall of balding trees.
what is it about the silence of the trees
that seduces me away from human contact?
to be able to hear myself clearly,
to lie under the stars, alone and unhindered,
thinking and living, every single moment,
suspended in the prism of the present,
static, yet running with the speed of light,
living beyond time, beyond good and evil.
what is it about the desolation of my jungle solitude,
that brings me closer to God?
to be able to value life, to be able to love, unadulterated,
to be able to cherish the purpose of living,
to be able to look beyond myself,
to look at the river, and not wonder where it leads to,
to look at the trees, and not think about a chainsaw,
to find that magnificent gazelle, and starving myself,
for the sake of beauty and balance.
what is it about resting atop a smooth rock by the waterfall,
under the morning sun, and not having a care?
to be able to see the the eye of God,
and close my eyes, understanding the message,
and for once, forgetting that we may die one day.
I feel tears on the brink, but for once,
it’s just the sun in my face. I am finally free.