take it,
take this 9mm
shove it in my mouth
now pull the trigger and blow my brains out
let the blood and gut splatter
somebody will come and clean it up
they will paint over
the house will look better
better than before
the walls will shine in my absence
they will make me new too
or maybe they will just wrap me in a white sheet
cave in what remains of my skull,
and set my body on fire
the ashes will fly everywhere,
settle down on people’s clothes
lingerings of charred flesh
brushed off some stranger’s shoulders
i will finally get my rest.