Charred

take it,

take this 9mm

shove it in my mouth

now pull the trigger and blow my brains out

let the blood and gut splatter

somebody will come and clean it up

they will paint over

the house will look better

better than before

the walls will shine in my absence

they will make me new too

or maybe they will just wrap me in a white sheet

cave in what remains of my skull,

and set my body on fire

the ashes will fly everywhere,

settle down on people’s clothes

lingerings of charred flesh

brushed off some stranger’s shoulders

i will finally get my rest.