One of the first things you are told about writing is to choose a subject or a topic or just a heading if not anything. However, I think the bounds of a subjects, topics, headings and similar such labels have got us wound up so tight that the creative bit in us dies even before we begin. It may seem extremely pretentious considering who would write aimlessly, wandering after lost tracks and untrammeled ideas, which may lead to nothing at all. Give it some thought, stop being overtly critical for a second. Are these chains not wrought from your prejudices and the fear of failure and the unreasonable yearning for structure. Introducing a little chaos in your writing is not easy, but it is one of the most difficult thing to do, if you do want to make sense at the end of it all. I have started writing this post, not entirely sure what I want to talk to you about, but I am forging my way ahead. I know that by the end of this paragraph, I will be able to figure out whether there is a point to this or mere palaver. I think we have reached there already.
Stop planning, stop trying to look into the future, stop trying to analyze the past, stop being a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer, a public servant, a thief, a robber, homeless, poor, rich, greedy, servile; just for a second, stop being your adjectives, and dig. Dig deeper and deeper. There is still more to dig. Well, we have only reached the 100 millionth layer of labels yet; another 100 million to go. Now you are closing on your destination. If you have not worked for this, if you have not looked so deep, then you have not reached your destination. You are not even close. May be you may never be able to reach your destination. Some of us who did are now looking at a lustrous metallic object, they once referred to as their self. Now look up, do you see the muck you have dug out. Yes, that is absolute garbage. It doesn’t mean a thing. It will decay soon, and the smell of that putrefaction will make you nauseous. You will wonder about the decisions you made that brought you here, you will wonder what it is that you did wrong, you will wonder if somebody else had something had to do with the mess your life really is, you will wish for a reset and then, you will wonder whether you are weak for thinking that for you have been told that only weak men doubt themselves and rethink their conviction, for you have been told that only weak men denote a lot of time to thinking, for you have been told that you are a man of action not idle thought, for you have been told that changing your life’s path towards something better is too selfish, for they will tell you to not be selfish about these kind of things as the people you love wish to pull you back; of course, in not as many words. But do understand, the world is a dark and dangerous place, only when a man decides to stand up for himself. I remember Jack Nicholson from Easy Rider lying on his back, and telling a visibly stoned Dennis Hopper-
“Oh, yeah, that’s right. That’s what’s it’s all about, all right. But talkin’ about it and bein’ it, that’s two different things. I mean, it’s real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace. Of course, don’t ever tell anybody that they’re not free, ’cause then they’re gonna get real busy killin’ and maimin’ to prove to you that they are. Oh, yeah, they’re gonna talk to you, and talk to you, and talk to you about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it’s gonna scare ’em.”
Well that’s just the thing folks. It’s up to you to decide, whether you want to choose the labels, or the person that lies within, hidden, vying for freedom, itching to get out. I did say I would make some sense of it all, at the end.